What is wrong with people?!

Fair warning: this post is about a disturbing topic, but also discusses a topic I feel strongly about.

Recently a woman was released from an underground prison, where she had been kept and sexually abused by her father for 24 years.  He fathered her 7 children, one died a few days after birth, three were adopted by the man and his wife, three lived with the mother and saw daylight for the first time a couple weeks ago.  One of the three who recently escaped is in critical condition and will probably not survive.  All conscious survivors are under specialized psychological care.

This story has so many issues it's hard to even think about.  It boils down to this though:  there are a few individuals who are very very messed up.  

But this doesn't explain the issue that baffles me the most.  People knew but said nothing.  This man rented out rooms in his house.  Past tenants now say that they knew "what a monster Josef was" (Article).  His wife lived with him in the house and helped raise three of the children/grandchildren.  The prison was originally one room; at some point he built several others and installed locks and a secret door.  Things he couldn't have done by himself or without some commotion.  He had a prior history of rape.  He had been abusing his daughter for seven years before moving her to the basement.  24 years, and nobody said a word.

Yet now it's all over the news and everybody is talking about it.  Now that there is no point in talking about it, nobody to save, nothing further to prevent.  Did nobody care about this girl?  Did nobody care that this man with a prior history of rape and a missing daughter was adopting children?   People in the town knew he abused his daughter, but did not stop it before she disappeared.  People knew of his history, of his current abuse, but said nothing to authorities when she disappeared.  A tenant said he saw the man taking food to the basement.  Another said the family dog always went crazy around the stairs to the cellar.  Why did nobody speak up before?

I believe people did care, it's hard not to.  But something stops people from helping.  This case is not the only example of people failing to speak up, it's just an extreme example.  It happens every day, everywhere.  It happens in the US, it probably happens in your town.  People speak out about pornography, sex between consenting adults (homosexuality) and abortion but not rape, incest and murder if it's happening in front of their eyes.  They speak out about violence in video games, but say nothing when their neighbor hits his wife or child.  I've been taught as a woman not to yell "rape", but to yell "fire", because people will rationalize turning a blind eye on rape.  Only if their own safety or possessions are in danger will they respond.

Individual psychology is one thing, things go wrong sometimes. But how do I accept the unacceptable when it's something everybody does?  People who see these things happening and do nothing are not evil people, they're normal people.  This is a behavior people in general engage in.  How are we so heartless?  How can we be so cruel?  People who know of a rape occurring, of domestic violence next door, but do nothing, how are they any better than the person committing the crime?  Aren't they accomplices?  Aren't they saying that they believe it is ok?  If it weren't ok wouldn't they try to stop it?  Calling the police puts you in no danger.  So why not call them?  Why are people so good at rationalizing non-action in these situations?   I cannot reconcile this behavior with my concept of decent human beings, it creates a huge amount of cognitive dissonance for me.

Some may ask how I can be so worried about normal people or domestic abuse when this man has just done something so horrible, but that man is in prison and will hopefully receive justice for what he's done.  There is nothing I can do now about that, and chances are you or I will not live next to something so clearly disturbing.  However, spouses and domestic partners are abused ever day, children are abused ever day, woman are raped every day.  Abuse is often ongoing, it will happen again, and the victims often become abusers themselves or teach their children to be victims.  How much hurt, pain, and misfortune could be prevented if we were unafraid to help?  How can we be outraged or shocked after the fact if we will not even dial a phone number to stop it?  Who will help them if not us?

Technorati Tags: rant, psychology, rape, incest, abuse, violence, heroes