Plots in the Works

Ok, things I've been thinking in the last post. Things I'm doing (or trying to do) in this one.

"Get a haircut, and get a real job"

Ok, so no haircut, and I'm actually not looking for a "real" job, I'm trying to get hired at an adult bookstore. Now that I've decided to go full steam ahead on the Human Sexuality thing I figured there couldn't be a better place for me to work. I'll learn things in class that I can hopefully apply at work while talking to customers or helping with marketing. And perhaps I'll learn something at work that I can apply in class. The hours are also offset from the normal 9 - 5 day, which is exactly what my classes are in the middle of. I'm keeping a couple development jobs on the side to bring in extra cash; the pay is not great, but the fringe benefits....

To evangelize a bit, on my 43things list I have something along the lines of "Live rather than just exist". I've realized recently the importance of career in this goal. If you spend a third (or more) of your day doing a job that you are only so-so about, that's a third of your life where you are just existing, just going through the motions to do what has to be done. Just doing what has to be done is not living. If however you are lucky enough to find a career that you love, you're a third of the way to living every moment of your short life. In fact, you're probably more than a third of the way because you won't be carrying stress over into your "real life", you'll be carrying excitement home instead. Congrats!

We now return you to the regularly scheduled todo list:

I'm getting back into climbing and yoga. Yay! I've missed it. I went climbing this weekend and was surprised by the cool people who unexpectedly showed up (don't tell, I actually experienced a bit of awesomeness od). I'm hoping to go again next weekend and get slowly back into yoga next week.

I'm still working on starting an adult video club, I got sidetracked with the first todo item.

Class starts in a week and a half. I'll be commuting up to the city 4 days a week. Really looking forward to it. I've missed 280, and mmm, human anatomy: the sexy bits.

My lolPron idea is scrapped, somebody beat me to it. Some of these are actually pretty funny, but I have a twisted sense of humor sometimes so I'll say they're not for the faint of heart and NSFmostW. I'm a little sad I didn't get to start it, but I'm glad somebody did, it was kind of an obviously twisted place to take it.

Technorati Tags: career, job, adult, money, climbing, yoga, video, class, nsfw

Dreamt I Went Fishing, Among Other Things

Ok, another fast and dirty catch up blog post. I would apologize (again), but perhaps these are actually more interesting than more focused posts. ;-)

I've had some amusing dreams in the last week or two. Fishing, swimming, catching up with old friends. I've enjoyed them, and the residual strangeness they leave life coated in for a while.

A while back I discovered the Google maps directory. Well, I had some, ahem ... help discovering it. But it's cool none-the-less. Basically, go to Google Maps and click the tab that says "My Maps" (just below the logo), then, just below that same tab, click "Browse the directory". Wallah! A toy-box full of cool maps to play with. I found some that show recent earthquakes, gas prices, distances, and hiking and biking trails.  The one below shows parts of the Bay Area that will be under water if sea levels rise 3ft.



From a ranting angle: Don't you important people have better things to do?!  Isn't that how you got to be important? If important people get to be that way by wasting their time on petty things like banning fake testicles on vehicles, sign me up; I waste my time on all kinds of silly things. Everybody has to have a purpose I suppose, but seriously, you would think the people who are supposed to be looking out for us would choose... constructive ones.


Technorati Tags: dream, map, google, bull, politics

What is wrong with people?!

Fair warning: this post is about a disturbing topic, but also discusses a topic I feel strongly about.

Recently a woman was released from an underground prison, where she had been kept and sexually abused by her father for 24 years.  He fathered her 7 children, one died a few days after birth, three were adopted by the man and his wife, three lived with the mother and saw daylight for the first time a couple weeks ago.  One of the three who recently escaped is in critical condition and will probably not survive.  All conscious survivors are under specialized psychological care.

This story has so many issues it's hard to even think about.  It boils down to this though:  there are a few individuals who are very very messed up.  

But this doesn't explain the issue that baffles me the most.  People knew but said nothing.  This man rented out rooms in his house.  Past tenants now say that they knew "what a monster Josef was" (Article).  His wife lived with him in the house and helped raise three of the children/grandchildren.  The prison was originally one room; at some point he built several others and installed locks and a secret door.  Things he couldn't have done by himself or without some commotion.  He had a prior history of rape.  He had been abusing his daughter for seven years before moving her to the basement.  24 years, and nobody said a word.

Yet now it's all over the news and everybody is talking about it.  Now that there is no point in talking about it, nobody to save, nothing further to prevent.  Did nobody care about this girl?  Did nobody care that this man with a prior history of rape and a missing daughter was adopting children?   People in the town knew he abused his daughter, but did not stop it before she disappeared.  People knew of his history, of his current abuse, but said nothing to authorities when she disappeared.  A tenant said he saw the man taking food to the basement.  Another said the family dog always went crazy around the stairs to the cellar.  Why did nobody speak up before?

I believe people did care, it's hard not to.  But something stops people from helping.  This case is not the only example of people failing to speak up, it's just an extreme example.  It happens every day, everywhere.  It happens in the US, it probably happens in your town.  People speak out about pornography, sex between consenting adults (homosexuality) and abortion but not rape, incest and murder if it's happening in front of their eyes.  They speak out about violence in video games, but say nothing when their neighbor hits his wife or child.  I've been taught as a woman not to yell "rape", but to yell "fire", because people will rationalize turning a blind eye on rape.  Only if their own safety or possessions are in danger will they respond.

Individual psychology is one thing, things go wrong sometimes. But how do I accept the unacceptable when it's something everybody does?  People who see these things happening and do nothing are not evil people, they're normal people.  This is a behavior people in general engage in.  How are we so heartless?  How can we be so cruel?  People who know of a rape occurring, of domestic violence next door, but do nothing, how are they any better than the person committing the crime?  Aren't they accomplices?  Aren't they saying that they believe it is ok?  If it weren't ok wouldn't they try to stop it?  Calling the police puts you in no danger.  So why not call them?  Why are people so good at rationalizing non-action in these situations?   I cannot reconcile this behavior with my concept of decent human beings, it creates a huge amount of cognitive dissonance for me.

Some may ask how I can be so worried about normal people or domestic abuse when this man has just done something so horrible, but that man is in prison and will hopefully receive justice for what he's done.  There is nothing I can do now about that, and chances are you or I will not live next to something so clearly disturbing.  However, spouses and domestic partners are abused ever day, children are abused ever day, woman are raped every day.  Abuse is often ongoing, it will happen again, and the victims often become abusers themselves or teach their children to be victims.  How much hurt, pain, and misfortune could be prevented if we were unafraid to help?  How can we be outraged or shocked after the fact if we will not even dial a phone number to stop it?  Who will help them if not us?

Technorati Tags: rant, psychology, rape, incest, abuse, violence, heroes

Asakusa - The Loach's part in the Circle of Life

Yesterday my housemate and I met up with an incredibly nice man who gives tours at Tsukiji fish market. My housemate met him on his last trip to Japan when he got up at the incredible hour of 4am to go see some fish thrown around. This meeting was much more reasonable, occurring around the hour of 5pm. We met at an entrance to Ueno park and wandered a few blocks over to the nearby market, Ameyoko.  The market apparently got it's name by selling sweets after WWII (ame = sugar or confection), and also by selling American goods.  Our host informed us of the history and also informed us that Ameyoko is "where the bad fish goes".  But though the fish is not as high quality as that found at Tsukiji, you can find other quality goods.  I had been to the market a couple weeks before with some friends and I can say that the fresh fruit is a win.

After discovering that the market no longer sold American army fatigues we hopped onto a train heading for Asakusa.  On the train we heard a very interesting description of Asakusa's efficiency.  Asakusa is home to a temple (probably several) where people go when a loved one passes away.  Upon finishing prayers and rituals, to cleans themselves of the evil spirits that accompany death, temple goers partake of a meal of loaches.  This is not Engrish for roaches, loaches are a small fish that live in rice paddies.  I googled it and they even have their own site: http://www.loaches.com .  Restaurants serving this small fish are right down the street from the temple.  However, this little fish is apparently an amorous creature and shares its love with those who consume it.  In short, it is an aphrodisiac.  So, just down the street from the restaurants (and the temples that started the whole thing) is the red-light district.  Problem solved.  The circle of life is a beautiful thing.

Technorati Tags: asakusa, ameyoko, japan, loaches, aphrodisiac, redlight district

Shinjuku

After Harajuku we met up with a friend of a friend who lives in Tokyo. He brought his wonderful and gorgeous friend who is from Kyoto. So the four of us met in Shinjuku under the huge video screen of Studio Alta. This is a perfect hang out for young people: flashy lights and noise, shopping, food, drink, close to public transit, and there's a big screen TV. After meeting and exchanging hellos we wandered down to yakitori-cho, an alley filled with small yakitori shops, each seating about 8 people. Apparently at places like this it is rude to order water without also ordering alcohol, so I tried a sake that was quite tasty and smooth, wish I'd written down the name.

After our tasty little meal we walked a few steps out of yakitori-cho, turned the corner and walked into a little cafe. The lighting was dim, the furniture was wooden and everything inside was proper and slightly smaller than one might like. =) It seemed like the kind of place you would go to write dark but polite poetry. My housemate and I both ordered toast (cinnamon and caramel respectively). This tickled our hosts friend who chuckled on and off for quite a while about us ordering breakfast for dessert. The coffee and tea were apparently delightful, I personally like my cream and sugar too much to be able to tell. The toast was perfect, thick and with a light spread of salty sweet caramel.


Next stop? Drinks of course. We wandered down a couple streets and eventually into a dark labyrinth of alleys. Each door was heavily decorated and belonged to a miniature bar, about the same size as the yakitori shops. If you pick a theme you can wander this area and probably find the corresponding bar.  The door above was probably decorated for some kind of wild west theme. We sat down at one with a Love and Peace theme where the two bartenders were very friendly and interesting to listen to, even if I didn't understand a word they were saying.  While we sipped drinks sitting on that coasters that read "Love and Peace" we watched a rather gruesome Tarantino flick.  Then, just before rushing off to the train, we watched the "A Whole New World" scene from Disney's Aladin.  There are absolutely no contradictions in Japan by the way.  None.

Technorati Tags: shinjuku, japan, nightlife, yakitori, tea, toast, bar, izakaya

Harajuku

Harajuku Girls?  Yep.  Boys too. These weren't the best dressed or most interesting people in Harajuku, but the main street was so packed in that it was hard to stop in the middle and take a picture. The kids stream by in costume or just fashionably dressed. The street they swarm to is lined with shops selling exactly what they're wearing or might want to wear next time. The concentration of eye candy is another reason I don't have many pictures, I was having more fun looking around than looking through my camera.

Want something Earth friendly inHarajuku?  They have that too. There were a couple of stores selling second hand clothing or items that were made from easily renewable materials. Harajuku girls are apparently the perfect mixture of goth/punk, cute, and conscientious.

They even have free hugs, a temple, and an awesome little condom store. So they're scary, cute, conscientious, and smart. ;-)  The condom store had many novelties, such as posters and a condom with a ruler on it, but it also had a wall of functional condoms.  Unfortunately the store was a little too crowded for quick browsing.

Technorati Tags:  harajuku, japan, fashion, green, eco, temple, hug, freehugs, condom

Akihabara

Last week my housemate came to Tokyo to visit.  He'd been to Tokyo once before, but only for a couple of days.  I can't imagine why, but somehow we ended up in Akihabara.  It puzzles me.  I mean, it's not like we're from a super techie electronics centered area that's known for geekyness or anything. 

At any rate, we met and scouted the area for food and a particular furniture and design store called Yamigawa Livina (<- not a typo).  We found the store first and settled on a curry place for lunch.  We ordered our curries from the ticket machine and a couple of patrons were nice enough to change seats so we could have seats next to each other.  After lunch we doubled back to the store and visited many floors of really interesting and sometimes even comfortable furniture (excuse me "high profile lifestyle products").  Then of course we set off looking for electronics and games, discovering a healthy smattering of manga and adult entertainment along the way.

To top it off?  A kushiage restaurant we discovered while looking for yakitori.  Kushiage is similar to yakitori in that it is food on small sticks.  However kushiage is not grilled but deep fried.  We were seated at the bar by the host, who without saying a word to us, proceeded to tell the chefs that we would need somebody who spoke English (our gaijin appearance also meant we didn't get heads on our shrimp as the Japanese patrons did).  A tray was set before each of us and before we could even wonder where the menus were, food was placed on the tray.  One stick at a time was placed on our trays and we were told what it was and which of four sauces to use.  Each piece was different, and each was fantastic.  

We were so distracted by the food that we didn't question how the chef knew what to give us or when to stop until about 20 pieces in when we starting to get pretty full.  We speculated about it for another five glorious sticks before deciding that he was just going to feed us until we burst.  When we asked him to stop the chef joked that we were only half way through the entire list of possibilities (there were 40) and gave us a hard time for giving up so soon.  I later asked what was normal at a place like that.  The answer?  14 or 15 sticks.

Technorati Tags: akihabara, kushiage, japan